Meaning of Not Living to Others Expectations
Often this phrase “I can’t live to your expectations” is interpreted by people as don’t care attitude or just being selfish but my intention of writing this up is to show that it’s actually about being responsible for your decision and actions :-).
Quick Background, I had been raised in an environment where meeting family expectations is given the utmost importance. To give an idea, it’s to the extent that when you don’t do that, you are labeled as “Selfish”, “Escapist”, “Running away from your responsibilities” etc.
So when I turned teenager, the biggest pressure I had from the family was to start earning — not just part time but full time as we were not financially that strong. Well now that I look back we were not that poor either to not let a kid have his own dreams :-).
As a result I was being pushed to start some kind of small scale business and not focus much on my studies. This was the plan to follow once I finish my education equivalent to IB (International Baccalaureate) Diploma post which you get entry into higher education.
Fortunately, the subjects I chose for IB diploma was science which incidentally is often taken by students due to their parents expectations to pursue a career as doctors or engineers. However, I just took it because of my interest in physics and the fact that my close friends were also taking science :-).
When the results for IB came out, I got very good grades and with it also the realization that not only it’s something I am good at but it’s something of my interest. Therefore, I made a decision to go against my family to build a career as engineer in information technology.
The next six years until I got my first job were tough to say the least, especially during the gap that I had between finishing my higher education until I got the job. During this time I was almost criticized by everyone for my decision and there was one night where I even contemplated a lot about committing suicide.
Today, however, I can proudly say that I have a very successful career, a beautiful family and my parents talks about me very proudly to others.
To Summarize what it means to not live to others expectations :
- It means “own your decisions”, often we are afraid about what if my decision goes wrong and hence we go along with other people’s decision, thinking we won’t be at least blamed if decision goes wrong.
- Be ready to make mistakes, accept them and learn from them. They are your mistakes based on your decisions and actions so don’t look to blame others for your life.
- Perseverance i.e. don’t give up soon, keep your focus and be determined. This also means not getting swayed away by distracting elements. Based on my experience if you are focused and determined to achieve a goal success will always follow.
Finally leaving a quote by Bruce Lee:
“I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.”
― Bruce Lee
